It’s been a year since I started writing and a lot has happened. I have (in no particular order) stopped taking medication for depression, taken part in an exhibition, finished one job and started another, made money from my artwork (at least a little), designed websites, celebrated Bear’s graduation and starting a new job, had two miscarriages, moved from Scotland to England, started teaching, gained weight, lost weight, read books, saw more films than I’ve seen in my life, celebrated my first wedding anniversary, much more, and still not done everything I had planned.
There are times when not having completed my goals is extremely frustrating. However, at other times it just forces me to question myself again, ask again what I am aiming for, rearrange and continue to make plans and attempt to complete them.
Over the next year I will be trying to look back at the year before whilst still writing about my present. This has been the nearest to a diary I’ve ever continued for more than a few weeks and it’s helped me in many ways. More importantly I hope it’s helped my readers, just one would make honesty worth it. Being able to read back in my entries and reflect, pray, and ask myself what has changed is a precious gift. Of course it has been frustrating, very little of my first entry has actually happened how I thought it would, but it has also been enlightening.
I recently suggested that asking questions is often a useful tool. I would now add that being able to ask questions with past context is even better. I cannot have a perfectly rose-tinted view because I did not write rose-tinted perspectives, I wrote what I saw to be the truth at the time. So I can question my dreams as of last January, and ask if they are my dreams now; if not, then why not? if they still are, what progress have I made and what can I continue to do?
I don’t know exactly what this year will bring but I stick with the tag line of this Chameleon blog: life is never boring. I have adapted to my surroundings, I have learnt and observed and changed. I will continue to do so, and as I do I pray for wisdom, courage and truth to guide my decisions.