So the summer nights are coming in and with May it brings the changes in so many people’s lives. For my husband it is almost the end of his degree and so there are deadlines and work to complete. For myself it is the end of one contract and the slight overlap with a new one. I will be handing over my work for Tayside YoungLives and starting a General Assistant role for a German family relocating to Dundee. Both of these things are scary and exciting all at once.
For Tayside YoungLives it has come to the end where all I can do is hand over the details of everything I have looked into and hope that the plan continues without me. By September there should be a place for teen mothers within Dundee to come to enjoy themselves and be cared for. Everything I have learnt has told me that they deserve it and need the support, and I do think that the fantastic churches and people here can help. Once I hand over the manuals it is someone else’s responsibility but is not likely going to exit my mind for many months to come.
For my new venture I think it could be good practice for my own move and relocation, as a wife, worker and future mother. I will be supervising repairs, cleaning, tidying, shopping, and helping where I am needed. I am strangely excited about this because, despite loving academia, I have often felt more comfortable in the labour-intensive or motherly roles of work. I am somewhat ambitious but I prefer to help others than grab opportunities for myself. It excites me to be able to introduce newcomers to Scotland which has become such a home for me and somewhere I really love and will miss. It will be exciting to be able to learn a little German whilst helping to improve their English. I hope I can become their friend as well as their employee and do the best I can for them.
Of course with the recent news of having a baby soon it could be an interesting month and I’m hoping not a morning-sickness-filled month. It is important that I keep this job because ultimately this will be paying the bills and adding to our savings for when the bump decides to emerge. I just hope that I can be what I have recently been called: Super Wife in the appropriate way.
Don’t get me wrong, those that have called me Super Wife are very sweet and don’t expect me to be amazing all the time. I do sometimes worry that I am allowing myself to take on too much all over again though. I have had this problem in the past and I do believe one of the biggest disadvantages to feminism was that it encouraged women to try and “have it all”. I, of course, believe that women should have the choice of a career and/or family in their life. What I don’t like is women feeling guilty because they have not given enough time to their family/career. The guilt trip of women against women is often the worse part and I have read and witnessed feminazism insult and degrade the lives of other women who have not been good enough. I refuse to apologise for not being such a career-centred woman that I put off marriage; I got married when I wanted to and when it was right for me and I do not regret it. On the other hand, I refuse to apologise for wanting to continue with academia and my calling after I have a family. More than anything I refuse to take on so much miscellaneous stuff that I become neither a good mother or have a good career.
My husband is likely to be the bread winner for the majority of our lives. This year I have been, and was happy to take on that role, because he needed to focus on his education. He will gain a good job through that education and as it is an industry more high sought out than my Theology degree I will likely rely on his wage for a good portion of our life. That doesn’t mean I will resent him for it, I won’t allow myself to. If I am bored there are things I can do: I can get involved in the community, go back to school, continue with my art ambitions, etc, etc. This does not mean I will be a bad mother. It means I will be able to give my children a heightened experience of life because I am living mine.
I am really excited about this stage of my life although the next 6 months of it will be busy and stressful and full of events. I am constantly trying to remind myself of my priorities though. Money is important in life but it is not the point of life. Work is useful for filling time, gaining experience and paying the bills, but if you are not working on your own personality and life within that work you might need to look elsewhere. My priorities are God, my family & friends, and my health (and hence that of my soon-to-be-Bump). Anything else that attempts to compromise on those will have a hard time staying in my life. After that it is all adventure.
Bring it on!
- Tayside YoungLives: What I do, why I do it, and how it’s important. (ekmcronin.wordpress.com)
- Taking a Leap of Faith: EKM Cronin (ekmcronin.wordpress.com)
- Working From Home: Pros & Cons (ekmcronin.wordpress.com)